Okay now i'm not in a good mood so I heeded my friend's advice, express all my disatisfaction and feelings in my blog. I'm going to do so but i'll not post all of it, because some idiots will think that i'm acting as if wanting people's sympathy! Darn! They're not even in my shoes, how do they know that i'm telling the truth? I really hope they get a grip of themselves and get their own lives, don't EVER rub in into my problems anymore! DAMN~!
Basically, i'm very patient with critic and mockery. However, my patience has it's limits. Sometimes i've been wondering, they mock me and made me a laughing stock of the class, but do they really know how I FEEL? Duh~ Human have feelings no? Don't tell me that they too do not have feelings? Sheesh~ At times, no, most of the time i never retaliate, i just sit there patiently swallowing all of em' But do they know how hard is it to gulp in all of those shame, pain and suffering? NO! They just take for granted that 'oh, he won't get angry wan laaa' This maybe true but as what i've said just now, my patience has it's limits. If you say that it is a joke, fine, but i've had enough of those so called jokes~ If you all were my friends, i think there won't be a problem understanding my limits and know when to stop when i'm trying my very best not to go berserk on them.
A total of 8 years, 8 years of patience and consideration, and what do I get? Even more of those 'fun' huh? Remember, words that have been said cannot be withdrew anymore. Try imagining yourself in my position, how would it feel to be mock and yet you have to tackle all those shame, enveloping your hatred and discomfort deep inside yourself as to not burst out with anger? Some may say that it's not they wanted to defame you, but it is just for laughs. Hello, you are taking ACTUALLY making them feel shameful which may or maybe not true, but with those mockery, it can be true to the listeners to believe. At that point, what would you do if you were in my situation huh? You guys are lucky that most of you aren't aimed to be laughed at, but just try to fantasized it and you'll see how does it feel like. Trust me, 1 or 2 years is fine, but over and over again for 8 years? It's no joke okay, since primary 4 until now, form 5. During my tender years in primary 1 to 3, i was in another primary school and there things were cloud nine for me. We interact well, often mingle and play together. However, things turn out vice versa at primary 4 where i was forced to transfer school. So since then i started building up my patience and tolerance towards my new friends. Well, it lasted quite a while up till now, as you can see i'm annoyed with my friends now~ Geez, what am i? A toy to fool around?
Anyways, it's a good way to bombard all my hatred here. Look at the bright side, everyone who thinks they are guilty can buck up and change instead of me lusting out my anger to them. I'm not saying all of my friends who tease me just to make me laugh and be gay for the time, it's just those you-know-yourself who like to mock me in front of others, just for the sake of entertainment without knowing how I feel. Don't get me wrong, I really do appreciate those who tried and somehow almost-succeeded to get my smile and laughter back, where i normally don't smile or even talk. So guys, know your role! I will not mention names in here as not to humiliate you, i just hope that you all don't climb over my head and make me turn radical in solving this matter >.<
That's all for now. Tata~
ChEerZ!
