Yes, the title of the post says 'Warmth'. Why? Well, it's actually about my life. If you guys had read my sister's blog about my shattered family background, I guess you all will understand what I meant here. I'll skip about my family background and getting straight to the point. During the whole week of SPM, 3 weeks to be exact, my very special someone has been companying me getting thru' the 3 weeks of hell. I define it as 'hell' because if you read my previous post, you'll know what I mean lolx!

Actually I never know it, until Friday when I went off to play game, which I'm not supposed to. She woke up and we started sms. When she asked what I was doing, so I told her that I was gaming. Whoa, then she started scolding me, forcing me to stop it within 30 minutes. Gosh, I felt so guilty that I quickly stopped the game. She told me that she prayed for me everyday, even suffered Insomnia because worried about my performance while sitting for my papers, and that is how I repay her, by wasting time gaming. Argh, that afternoon I felt so guilty until I didn't really eat, those words gave a colossal impact in my life, no joking. I lost my appetite that afternoon because those words keep popping in my confused mind. I kept thinking about all the suffering she had to go through, and having Insomnia is something not cool. But she had it almost the whole week when I was sitting for SPM. Besides my mother and sister which they themselves have their own worries, I can bet that not one friend will actually do those for me until like that. And, beads of tears started rolling down my cheek after reading that message she sent to me. Gosh, that warmth, is like giving water to a thirsty helpless man lost in the jungle!

Maybe for you guys out there may think I'm over reacting or I'm useless, but that is what I lack and thirst for all these while. For some of my friend, their family is so harmonious. My friends got hugs and kisses from their parents, go out with their family for holidays peacefully and happily, which is the exact inverse of my family. My parents still quarrel like cat chasing a mouse even DURING OUR HOLIDAY TRIPS. Maybe there are other people out there who have a more terrible life than me, but all I can say the lust for love and warmth is the same in all of us.

Besides that, I'll be sitting for my Chinese paper this coming Wednesday. And my Chinese is really at the borderline. If I manage to score an A, that'll be a miracle! Hahax! But, she never gave up on me. She even came out with the idea of sms-ing me in Chinese in hope to improve my Chinese for my upcoming exam. Although it's only 4 days left until my Chinese paper, she still never gave up but kept encouraging me. When there's error in my Chinese, she'll be there to correct it. Although that effort looks tiny or useless, but it actually helped me realize my mistakes in grammar which I think plays a major role for a form 5 essay.

Last night before I sleep, I typed an extremely long sms, to tell her how much I appreciate her presence in my life. I'll cherish her to the very end. Although my future is still shrouded in darkness, I hope that she'll be my resonating light and help me break free from this abyss. The hardship and pressure that she gone through because of me, it will be a vivid memory for me, forever, for eternity..
Thank you for stepping into my life, I love you very much~!

-Over and Out-
Cheers! 4 more days until SPM is over xP

ends at 5:30 AM

I know this sounds weird, but have you ever seen someone waking up in the middle of the night(morning actually) and started blogging because of insomnia? I'm currently suffering from that problem. Why? I still don't really know...But what I know is when I woke up at 4.00am I have minor arm and leg muscle pains. Weird eh? Cholesterol level too high? Lolx! Frankly speaking, I've gained a lot of weight during the whole month of November since SPM started. Help anyone? =.="

Last week's SPM is deep down into the graves already~ 6 down, 5 more to go! Bye bye Bahasa Melayu! History is well, literally history too. I can burn Mathematics, Additional Mathematics and Moral exercises too xD Left Chemistry, Physics, Biology(=.=), Chinese and English for Science and Technology(EST) then I'm free from this onslaught~! Muahahaha!

Seeing others having so much fun with their holidays, it made me kinda envy them. Having to stuck in a 3 weeks exam with nothing but papers and tiredness is tormenting, no joking! No games, even if I do play is once in a fortnight, can't indulge myself into it actually, gosh! What's worse is that SPM candidates gotta sit for the exam for the whole freaking day. Yes you heard me, whole day, and that includes sitting for the exam during the afternoon. And I SO DO NOT agree with this because the hot weather during the afternoon will cause us to feel sleepy. PLUS, the subjects during the afternoons are as follows :
1) Bahasa Melayu paper 2 (One way ticket to dreamland)
2) History (Bummer)
3) Moral (Major Bummer)
4) Chemistry, Biology and Physics paper 3 (Still ok la)
5) EST paper 1 (Road to Independence!) xD
Sucks eh? Especially the first 3, which needs 100% alertness because we're actually writing a lot of stuff. If you count and compile the words, it's as thick as half a novel already =.= At least the forth and fifth ain't that bad, it's more to knowledge, creativity and free-thinking kinda topic.

I wonder whether you guys receive any SMS regarding the cons of examinations. In the SMS it says something very funny, but factual too. It says that for SPM students, we will be using up at least approximately 150 pieces of paper for the whole examination. And imagine how many tress would be cut to fulfill that requirement. And I'm talking about A SPM candidate. What about the whole conscript of Malaysia's SPM students. Logic? Talking about preserving and conserving environment, I wonder what's the use of it since we're cutting down many of mother earth's treasure? Besides that, examinations pose a greater treat to the well-being of candidates. It will cause mental depression, stress, anxiety and lastly death(not that bad la, I guess). Students tend to burn the midnight oil, neglecting their meals and sleep just to study in hope to pass their examinations. Yes, examination is an instrument to measure the quality of a student, but adversely it will detriment the health of us candidates. Try to ponder for a moment, when was the last time you go for exercise when your public examination is nigh? Very seldom right? And yet the government wants his future leaders to be well-shaped mentally and physically, so are they eating up their own words?

Even the marking methods are solely based on answer scheme, and not based on how relevant the answer is to the question. It's an irony actually as examinations are suppose to test the intellect of a student, and not confining their knowledge. Students should be given the freedom to answer the questions base on logical sense and relevency, and that's the way to measure the wisdom of a candidate. What's the use of examinations anyway if we're not allowed to let our ideas soar? Don't tell me that 2+1=3 is wrong whereas 1+2=3 is correct because it's stated in the answer scheme? Gosh! Do we want bookworms to reign our country in the near future? I'll let you guys think about that~

Hey, I just noticed that the things that I wrote here can be applied in one of my topic that came out during my English paper 1 essay writing. Hahax! But sadly I didn't answered that question. If I did wrote it, I don't know whether I'll be captured by the Internal Security Act(ISA) for insulting the Ministry of Education, lolx!

It's 5.30am already and I'm still up awake. I thought by blogging I can get myself to feel sleepy and sleep again. But I think it's still to no avail -.- Bah, anyways Andrew, I'll do your tag after SPM when I'm free. Now I still gotta fill my empty head with chemistry, biology and physics. ~.~' Lastly, to that special someone, I love and miss you very much ^-^!

-Over and Out-

ends at 8:00 PM