Warmth...
Yes, the title of the post says 'Warmth'. Why? Well, it's actually about my life. If you guys had read my sister's blog about my shattered family background, I guess you all will understand what I meant here. I'll skip about my family background and getting straight to the point. During the whole week of SPM, 3 weeks to be exact, my very special someone has been companying me getting thru' the 3 weeks of hell. I define it as 'hell' because if you read my previous post, you'll know what I mean lolx!
Actually I never know it, until Friday when I went off to play game, which I'm not supposed to. She woke up and we started sms. When she asked what I was doing, so I told her that I was gaming. Whoa, then she started scolding me, forcing me to stop it within 30 minutes. Gosh, I felt so guilty that I quickly stopped the game. She told me that she prayed for me everyday, even suffered Insomnia because worried about my performance while sitting for my papers, and that is how I repay her, by wasting time gaming. Argh, that afternoon I felt so guilty until I didn't really eat, those words gave a colossal impact in my life, no joking. I lost my appetite that afternoon because those words keep popping in my confused mind. I kept thinking about all the suffering she had to go through, and having Insomnia is something not cool. But she had it almost the whole week when I was sitting for SPM. Besides my mother and sister which they themselves have their own worries, I can bet that not one friend will actually do those for me until like that. And, beads of tears started rolling down my cheek after reading that message she sent to me. Gosh, that warmth, is like giving water to a thirsty helpless man lost in the jungle!
Maybe for you guys out there may think I'm over reacting or I'm useless, but that is what I lack and thirst for all these while. For some of my friend, their family is so harmonious. My friends got hugs and kisses from their parents, go out with their family for holidays peacefully and happily, which is the exact inverse of my family. My parents still quarrel like cat chasing a mouse even DURING OUR HOLIDAY TRIPS. Maybe there are other people out there who have a more terrible life than me, but all I can say the lust for love and warmth is the same in all of us.
Besides that, I'll be sitting for my Chinese paper this coming Wednesday. And my Chinese is really at the borderline. If I manage to score an A, that'll be a miracle! Hahax! But, she never gave up on me. She even came out with the idea of sms-ing me in Chinese in hope to improve my Chinese for my upcoming exam. Although it's only 4 days left until my Chinese paper, she still never gave up but kept encouraging me. When there's error in my Chinese, she'll be there to correct it. Although that effort looks tiny or useless, but it actually helped me realize my mistakes in grammar which I think plays a major role for a form 5 essay.
Last night before I sleep, I typed an extremely long sms, to tell her how much I appreciate her presence in my life. I'll cherish her to the very end. Although my future is still shrouded in darkness, I hope that she'll be my resonating light and help me break free from this abyss. The hardship and pressure that she gone through because of me, it will be a vivid memory for me, forever, for eternity..
Thank you for stepping into my life, I love you very much~!
-Over and Out-
Cheers! 4 more days until SPM is over xP
